Beginning to lose my mind already!

Well today marks just 3 days before my expected delivery date, and sadly, I don't feel like I am even close to having him at all! For a month my doctor has been telling me that his head is in position, right where he needs to be, and that he is ready to go, he just has to decide when that's going to be. So for a month I have been expecting, that any day, my little guy would be making his arrival, and alas, no little guy yet! Yesterday we had our doctors appointment and the doctor told me that I am not dilated yet, but my cervix is getting thinner, and that his head is in a perfect position, so that once labor starts, I won't have very much pushing to do before he comes out(which is a relief to me!)She even tried to get labor start for me, but she couldn't quite reach my membranes, so I was sent home to wait....... UGH!

For the past month I have been feeling lots of braxton hicks contractions and lots of pressure in my pelvic area, which are all good signs I am getting ready for labor, and now.... I am not feeling ANYTHING! I can't even believe it! After all this time, it doesn't feel like I am going to go into labor anytime soon and it's driving me nuts! My entire family has been on pins and needles and busting ass to get ahead in their work, so that once the baby is here, there are no distractions, and they call me everyday wanting to know how I am feeling and I give the the same answer.... "Great... DAMNIT!!!" LOL

The doctor told me that if I don't deliver by our next scheduled appointment next Wednesday(which is 3 days after my due date) that they are going to schedule me for an induction on Sunday, June 21st. There in lies where I am starting to stress. See, I have been doing alot of reading and research and 90% of the time when labor is not started naturally, is where the hardest labor and delivery begins, and where the baby is subjected to the most stress. The medicine they give you to induce (pitician, which I totally spelled wrong by the way) starts your contractions and starts them out very strong. Basically the minor and less intense contractions you feel when labor begins naturally at 1 cm or 2 cm, feel more strong and intense, like you are already at 8cm with the pitician. With the stronger contractions right off the bat, your more inclined to have an epidural for the pain, with an epidural you have a chance of your babies heart rate dropping, and when the babies heart rate drops, they then wheel you in for a C-Section. Personally, I am scared to death to be induced because everything that I have learned has shown me that once you start interfering with natural that that is when the most difficult experiences in labor and delivery begin. I have had such an amazing pregnancy to be honest with you, and I don't want to have a bad experience delivering or have to worry if my baby is ok or not... I am now officially starting to panic!

I don't want to be induced! I just want my kid to make up his mind on his own and come out when he's good and ready, not be forced to come out with medication. I may not be making too much sense right now, but all I want is for this little man of mine to come out soon and on his own. The past week has seemed like an eternity and I am sure the next 3 days will also drag on as well..... just keep me in your thoughts and pray like hell that my kid gets here soon, before I start to lose it a little bit more... LOL