Monday, May 11, 2009

Just another week.... and that much closer to "D" Day!

Well another week has passed and of course it has been interesting as usual. I am now officially 35 weeks pregnant, 22lbs heavier than I was before I was with child, with boobs that make me wonder why I ever needed a boob job in the first place and a ton more emotional and irritable than I ever thought I'd imagine I would ever be. Last week Michael and I finished our very last childbirth education class. To be honest with you, I got a lot more out of it than I thought I ever would. Of course, like the overachieving scholar I have always been my entire life, I managed to charm the heart of my childbirth instructor and prompt hatred looks from the rest of my classmates. Of course, it could have been that I was the only one in the class that actually had a baby daddy as my coach, but I am thinking they were just jealous at my ability to "hee hee hoo" better then *they* could and that I could recite the birthing acronyms without even looking... yes... I am that damn good! LOL! Actually, in all seriousness, I really enjoy learning something new, whether it's child-birthing or anything else for that matter, I have always excelled in a classroom environment. I'm not shy by any means, and I am certainly not afraid to speak up in class when the instructor is trying to engage in a group discussion and I definitely am not afraid to speak up if I have the right answer to a question. That of course makes me the perfect student in the teacher's eyes and the kiss ass in the other students eyes. There was one girl in particular who didn't like me at all. She didn't speak to me, (of course I am sure she spoke *about* me in spanish to her mother who she had to translate the majority of the class to... but whatever) but I could see her horns come out whenever I walked in the room. She even made it a point, when I answered a question correctly, to make a snide remark like, "Oh looks like *somebody* has been memorizing the material". Whatever bitch.... don't be a hater! LOL... Ahhhh reminds me of high school! Anyways, after the end of class the teacher asked me to come on board as a patient advisory member for the hospital, which I thought was pretty cool, and I am actually really considering it.

Last week as we were leaving class though, I really had an overwhelming feeling that "D" Day (AKA Delivery Day) is a lot closer than I thought. Hell, I haven't even packed my bag yet! Granted I have made a beautiful list of what I'm going to pack, once I start packing, however, if I go into labor tomorrow, I may just be heading to the hospital without my Bob Marley CD's and Cucumber Melon Body Lotion and favorite body pillow to ease my labor stresses. I guess instead of writing about it on Blogger, I could be packing it, but of course that would be to easy right? Everything has been going well with my pregnancy, and I've even started to get a few contractions here and there. In fact, Michael and I decided yesterday evening to take a walk to the little fishing lake down the street from our house and on the way back realized that lots of walking can trigger going into labor. I had a few strong contractions, but nothing serious and they started to subside. I followed the rule (the one I learned in class thank you very much!) that if your under 38 weeks if you get more than 4 or 5 contractions in a one hour time period to go to the hospital, well I only had about 3 in a one hour time period and then a couple more a few hours later and then they stopped altogether, so I was good. I have this sinking suspicion, and I've said it from day one, that I think he may come earlier than his due date, so we'll see if that happens or not. All I care about is making to my baby shower this weekend without going into labor, after that, I'll be ok if he comes anytime after that. We have another Doctor's appointment tomorrow, so we'll see what the doc has to say. Michael says she looks like the witch from the Wizard of Oz, so every time we go he graces me with the musical theme from the Wizard of Oz and says, "I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too...." Although hilarious, it makes it really hard to look her in the eyes without laughing when she comes in the room.

Well, I better get back to masking my baseboards in Noah's nursery. We decided to tackle the painting project this weekend and.... well... it didn't come out as we had planned. All we managed to do was primer the walls, and somehow, in the process all the masking tape I had on my baseboards had peeled it's way off, so now I have to re mask all the baseboards, so Michael can come home tonight and paint at least one of the walls. I am not really sure how it's going to look, but Michael assured me if it came out really shitty, he would bribe his cousin Eddie, who is a painter in Huntington Beach, with a few cases of beer to come up and redo the room. So I'm hoping for the best! I swear, men just can't seem to understand the importance of a good nursery. Michael keeps saying that Noah isn't going to have a clue what his nursery looks like when he comes home and that he'll be spending most of his time in our room, which of course he is correct, but still..... I just won't feel complete and ready for Noah's arrival until I know my Lake Marsh Green and Bay Bronze Beige painted walls look perfect equipped with little safari animals adorning the room. It's just a female thing I tell you! Men just don't get it!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Welcome to the neighborhood!

Well I can let out a huge sigh of relief as Michael and I are FINALLY *mostly* settled in our new home. Now, when I say "mostly" it means that there are a few loose ends that need to be settled before we can "officially" be settled in... one of those being, Noah's nursery! But, we can't really get the nursery together until we get our baby furniture, and I won't be getting that until my baby shower in a week and a half, so for now, Noah's room sits untouched until then. To be honest with you it's driving me crazy though! I keep walking in there every day and get one more genius idea about what I want to do, but lack the ability. Last night I told Michael that I was going to go to Lowes this week and buy some primer for the walls and pick out the paint and buy all the painting stuff so I can have that done before the shower... however, my overprotective husband informed me that I was to not take that project on by myself... damn! For the record, how pissed do you think he'd be with me if he came home from work one night this week to find I had painted the nursery by myself??? Hmmmm.... I am really debating on doing it, just for shits and giggles to test him to see if he really would be pissed off at me, and earlier this morning I actually had my car keys in hand and was ready to head off to Lowes.... however, I decided to not test the wrath of my husband who is obviously looking out for the best interest of his wife who is a few days short of being 35 weeks pregnant. So for now, Noah's nursery painting project is on hold(at least until I can scam somebody into coming up and helping me then he would have no excuse to be mad at me.... LOL)

Moving was so hectic! When I moved from my parents house to San Clemente, it was hectic, but really not that bad, I was moved in and enjoying a cocktail on my patio looking at the ocean in two days. When I moved from San Clemente to Loma Linda, that was a breeze! Again, I was moved in and was enjoying a cocktail on my patio in 2 days. Moving from Loma Linda to Llano..... not so much of a breeze, especially when your 8 months pregnant! Our house closed escrow on the 24th of April, however, we did not know our house was going to close escrow on the 24th until the 23rd at 5pm! Aside from the fact that Michael was in Sacramento and not scheduled to be home until the 25th around 1pm, but I was not even close to being packed! A few weeks previous I had boxed up our DVDs and a few misc. things in our office, but that was it, my entire house needed to be boxed up and ready to move that weekend! So of course, like the mad woman I am, I went into crazy mode and hauled ass home that night to start my packing process. I spent the evening packing and the entire next day and night packing and the entire morning, before Michael came home packing. Of course all the while cursing my husband for not being home and wondering why he hadn't hired a UHaul truck for when he got back so we could move all in one shot. I was on the verge of going nuts! I thought for sure that when Michael got home that Saturday afternoon, he'd find me rocking myself back and forth in the fetal position, foaming at the mouth and cradling the new Glock 45 handgun he bought me while singing "It's a Small World Afterall" in the middle of a boxed covered living room floor. I am not kidding you! In fact, I am greatly surprised that everybody came out of this moving situation alive because the insane pregnant lady was *this* close to snapping!

So Michael gets home Saturday afternoon and totally redeems himself by picking up a moving truck... THANK GOD!! Then my parents and brother and Alex came over and we loaded everything from our townhouse into the truck and headed to our new house. We got everything unloaded into the house by 7pm. However, we find that our main water service to the house was broken and we didn't have any water. Lucky enough my dad's a plumber! So he gave it a quick fix, just for the night so Michael and I could shower, and then he was going to come up the next day to make a permanent fix for us. So I take a nice hot shower, throw up my dinner because I am so overwhelmed with the stress of the past few days, and then pass out. The next morning Michael headed out to go get everything from his storage unit. I figured what a perfect time to sleep in and rest before my mom and dad got back up here so we could start unboxing.... well... that was a nice idea until the loud chimes of my doorbell wake me up.......

Standing at my front door is the President of the water board, the post-man(who was off-duty of course and looking like he was ready to go play a round of golf) and a man from the water department. Apparently our "quick fix" on our water meter so we could shower the night before, didn't exactly hold and we had a lake running down our street. So I had to explain to these men, that Yes, I was the owner of this home, no, I was NOT a squatter and that I didn't fragrantly turn the water on, and Yes a plumber would be up in a few hours to make the permanent repair. Now the community we live in, called Crystalaire, is comprised mostly of people in their early to mid 40's up to their 80's, as this is a golf course community, so the people that live here are mostly well-established or retired. Everybody knows everybody here. So here these men are, looking at me standing at my front door with my PJ's on, pregnant and in my mid-20's wondering what in the hell I was doing living here. So of course the bared of questioning came as to why I decided to move here, if I had family here and where I came from before. I could see the look of concern on their faces when I said I came from the good ol' 909 and I could see the envisionments in their eyes that the white trash has moved to the neighborhood and Iam sure they are waiting for the first car to go up on jackstands in our front yard and for all the fat bald beer drinking, wife beater wearing friends of my husbands to come up and reek havoc on their beautiful golf course...... There goes the neighborhood the I.E. has moved in!!!

After my nosey neighbors left, I figured I'd just as well get started unpacking. Shortly after my mom showed up and started putting my kitchen away while my dad fixed our broken water main. I was hoping that I could get everything unboxed, but once Michael got back from his storage unit, it became very clear to me that that was not going to happen. This man has EVERYTHING and when I saw everything, I mean it. He has at least 5 different dressers, and coffee tables and end-tables, not to mention the million and one boxes of unknown treasures! We were able to get the kitchen and the bathrooms put together and arrange some furniture in the family room and formal living room, and that was it. The house was still covered in boxes and the end of packing was nowhere near in site. I seriously thought it'd take us a month to get some sort of normalcy going. Although Michael was going to take the next couple days off, we had so much to do, that we couldn't spend that time unpacking. We had to finish cleaning his drumset out of the garage at the old house, clean the old house, do the final walk thru, attend a doctor's appointment and childbirth classes as well as find the time to buy a new fridge and tv for our living room and pick up our washer and dryer. But thankfully my wonderful miricle worker grandma came up here and spent two days with me and we got the entire house put together! Pictures on the walls, nick-nacks on tables... everything to make a house a home. We left Michael's boxes in the garage and we'll go through those one at a time to decide what we're going to keep and what we're going to give away. We also left Michael's office alone so that he could put that together the way he wanted to. But for the most part our house is now a home, with the exception of a few minor details. So I can now rest a little easier at the thought of that.

Meanwhile, the real estate agent had still not taken down our "For Sale" sign which prompted us to get a visit from the "local law enforcement"..... Officer "Nosey- Triple A with a Gun and a Badge" (AKA California Highway Patrol) pulls up in front of our house one morning and saunters his way up to the front of the house. Now, I am not really sure what the hell he was doing off his ticket patrol on Highway 138, but apparently according to Mr. Chip On His Shoulder, he patrols our area "alot". It was very apparent that this guy really thought he was the Sheriff of Mayberry and was ready to right the wrongs on this little Country Club Community. I am sure if I ever had a stolen golf cart or my senior citizen neighbors got a little too wild at there weekly bridge game that this would be the man I would call to serve and protect me. So he starts giving us the line of questioning, asking if we were the owners and if we owned the house, how come the For Sale sign was still up in the front yard. He also scanned to see Michael's big truck and our 5th wheel trailer, all which are registered to one of Michael's businesses in Nevada for obviously cheaper reasons, and asks if we were moving in from Nevada...... freakin nosy jackass. He claimed that he drove up to our house last week and saw a sliding glass door from our patio to the side of the house open, with some wires hanging down and now he drives up here again and sees our truck in the driveway. So we explained to Officer Bad-ass that in the process of buying a home, that all sorts of inspectors are up here to make sure everything is good with the house and sometimes they don't take enough care to close doors and windows, and that the wires that were hanging down belonged to the Direct TV Satellite Dish that had been disconnected on the roof. We also assured him that we were the legal owners of this home and that since we only closed escrow a few days ago, the real estate agency hadn't gotten around to taking our sign down yet. After he left Michael and I started thinking that this guy was probably not on patrol up here, but probably more interested in buying the house or he may have been the other person interested in making an offer, so he probably drove by frequently to see what was going on. Funny thing is, it's been a week since the "concerned officer" paid us a visit, and I haven't seen him drive by here once. For somebody who patrols the area "alot" I sure haven't seen the likes of him around here! So needless to say I got on the phone with the real estate agent and told them to get that sign down ASAP before the SWAT team invaded us. I swear... something about moving to a small community..... I think everybody has walked their dog and driven their golf cart up past our house at least 50 times in an effort to see who the new neighbors are.... I was thinking of doing something really hillbilly and crass like hang a big confederate flag out in the front yard and blow up one of those inflatable pools and sit in it and wave at everybody when they go by.... but I haven't quite executed that plan yet. Maybe once I get everything moved in then I'll move on to tormenting my neighbors..... Hell yeah... the 909 has moved to the Country Club! Shhhhhiiiiitttttt howdy!