Holy crap! I am a mom!! Now what?!?

Well it has been a good month since my last blog, but I think I have a pretty good excuse for not having the time to blog..... I sorta became a mom over the past few weeks... wow! That's weird isn't it? See I have always looked at moms as these all knowing, responsible, gentle and soothing women, who just ooze protection and comfort out of their sweat glands, and have the ability to turn their head 360 degrees and notice a problem, without anybody else knowing. Yes, a mom knows everything and can do anything without so much as a wimper of a complaint. So I guess that means I join that society of Superhumans now?? I sure hope I am up to parr, because this whole mommy thing feels so sureal, even now.

Lets rewind a little bit, because I should probably catch you up to speed on the past months excitment. First of all, I was scheduled to be induced on Fathers Day, June 21st, at 8AM, and Saturday night, at 9PM, I ended up going into labor on my own. Lets just say that the easy pregnancy I had, definatly bit me in the ass once I hit the delivery room, as I finally received my karma that my other pregnant friends had been warning me of as they gained 50 lbs in water weight and threw their guts up, as I trotted along happy as a clam, with no issues. I had the worst experience in the delivery room! Aside from the fact that I had contact with only 2 wonderful medical professionals during my entire duration at the hospital, we had some very touch and go situations with Noah making his arrival. But, one botched epidural, sunnyside up sideways baby with a low heart rate and the cord wrapped around his neck and not breathing, 16 hours, and a cut and torn hoo hoo later, I delivered the most precious being on the planet.

Call me a little bias, but I have the cutest damn kid ever. He was even cute when he first came out... and babys aren't cute when they are first delivered. Yes, I am a very proud mom! Anyways, the first week was a disaster, and it had nothing to do with my son. In fact, he was a perfect angel. He slept 6 hours at a time, hardly ever cried, and was totally and completly patient everytime his dingbat parents tried to put him in his car seat (which, come to find out we have been doing wrong the past 4 weeks... haha.. go figure! Who would have thought that all the practice Michael and I did before Noah's arrival on the stuffed monkey wouldn't pay off for us) He was just amazing! I, however, was still suffering the effects of the spinal headache, caused by the leaking spinal fluid, which was caused by the botched epidural I was given. So back to the hospital I go, to get a blood patch to fix the hole in my spine, and I was back to new.... well.... minus the extreme pain and bleeding going on downstairs... if you know what I mean. OUCH! My poor girly parts! Not only was I sliced open, but I also tore, since Noah came out sideways. That doctor stiched me up for a half hour! Will I ever walk the same again? Pee the same? Will I ever want to have my husband get anywhere NEAR me again without breaking out into a cold sweat?? I was greatly disturbed about the disaster that had become of my female organs.

For the record though, I am pretty sure my poor husband was probably concerened about those parts as well! Awwww... my wonderful and patient and life safing husband. I couldn't say enough wonderful things about the man who was the only reason I got through delivery and the stressful week after, without breaking down. This man truly needs a medal of honor or needs to get some sort of husband of the year recongination for his battle fought. Aside from keeping me focused during some very touch and go times in the delivery room, he spent the following week after, not only being my rock, but helping me care for our baby, as I couldn't even get out of bed. I did realize at one point, as I am standing naked in the emergency room bathroom, attempting to cleaning my stitch area, after peeing, and my husband is holding my hospital gown and handing me a wash cloth, that there is definatly no more mystery left in our marriage. We went from innocent flirting, to NOT so innocent flirting and having a good time, to being married, having a baby and watching one another pee.... now that's a story book romance for you! LOL.

After everything had calmed down, we finally got to enjoy our newborn... andboy is he just a beautiful child. As of today, he is offically one month old, and I am so amazed at how much he has grown already. He has such a great personality, and his facial expressions are priceless. He has finally started letting us put him in his cradle to sleep, as the first 4 weeks, he had INSISTED on sleeping in your arms, or somewhere where he is close to you (AKA our bed) Let me tell you, I LOVE watching my son sleep and love him sleeping in my arms. It's the most peaceful thing in the world to me, but, I would get so exhausted because I couldn't get a good night sleep because I was so aware of him and not wanting to crush him, that I would sleep like crap. So now, he's become a big boy and sleeps in his cradle at night... however, he still has to fall asleep with somebody holding him, but now he doesn't wake up when you lay him down... eventually I'll buck up and learn to be tough and let him cry when I put him in his cradle to sleep, but at this point, I am just not tough enough to do that yet.

I had fully intended on breast feeding him for at least the first 3 months, however, my body decided otherwise. I made it 3 weeks breast feeding before my milk supply wasn't exactly meeting my boys demand, and we had to switch to formula. He's been on formula for a week now, and he's finally starting to get the hang of the change in eating habits, although, he hasn't learned that he can't suck on the bottle for comfort when he's sleepy, like he used to when I was breast feeding, as his little tummy doesn't hold that much and then we both end up taking a formula bath. My doctor told me that babies know when they are full, they will not overeat... well... not my kid... LOL... But we're still learning.

I aboustatly love spending the days with him.... he is my heart and soul and just makes me smile.... even when he is being fussy or spitting up on me. I am soooo paranoid though that I am going to do something wrong. My husband praises me and tells me that I am doing a wonderful job and I am a natural at being a mother, but I still feel like I don't belong in the superhuman mom group, I am so nervous. I made my first outting with him alone last weekend, and I was a scatterbrain, thank God I have such a patient and good baby, because lord knows he handled the situations better than I did. I have a feeling in a few months my kid will be teaching me a thing or two about the real world and not the other way around. All I can say though is I couldn't feel anymore blessed to be a mom and each and every day I am look forward to watching him grow and develop right underneath my eyes.

Well that's about all the time I have for now, I better be getting my little boys bottle ready soon, because it's about that time. I am sure my posts will probably be a little far and between, but I look forward to writing about my tirals and tribulations as a new mom, and any advise you can give.... I am willing to take!