Ooooohhhh BABY!!!!! (And not in a sexual way.. well... sorta..)

Well I am definitely a little behind in updating my Blog... (Sorry Hannah! LOL) It's been a busy busy month, but here I am and I am ready to update the blogger world on the exciting developments(literally) happening in my life over the past month. So sit back, relax, have a cup of coffee and maybe a donut if your diet permits and catch up on my news.

YES, in fact the rumors are true.... I am pregnant! 11 weeks pregnant to be exact and I am feeling great, meaning I haven't been praying to the porcelain God one bit, which I am pretty stoked about because me and vomit don't exactly go together like peanut butter and ladies if you know what I mean. Actually I think I need to invest in one of those new age robotic babies, kinda like the one's in License to Wed, that shits and pukes and teaches you how to be a parent, before I give birth to prepare my weak stomach for the joys that motherhood will bring me. (Ohh and P.S. Hannah... reading your blogs has given me a total insight on what to expect in the whole vomit and poo department) I am thinking I might need a little help before my bundle of joy graces me with it's first dirty diaper or spits up on me!! I know I know, they say once you become a mother that stuff doesn't bother you anymore, but still I don't want to be holding my baby in the hospital and have it spit up on me and I start gagging and have the Doctors and Nurses start whispering about me by the water cooler.. "Oh my God... did you see that new mom is 5B... Yeah... she totally gagged when her baby spit up... Seriously... she's got a rough road ahead of her.. just wait till she catches a glimpse of her first diaper after the baby switches to jarred veggies... she's a goner for sure"... Well.... I am sure it wouldn't exactly go like that but still.... Anyways, the baby is due on June 14th, 2009. We're definitely going to find out the sex of the baby, and that appointment is on January 12th, so after January 12th please feel free to start buying lots of cute baby things for me that are gender appropriate. LOL.

The only real pregnancy side effect that I am feeling at this time is I am tried... Like CRAZY tired...it feels like I could sleep for days upon days and be a happy little camper. Come 8pm at night I am struggling to keep my eyes open and since Michael tends to be somewhat of a night owl and has a hard time going to bed before 10pm, I am struggling to stay awake and coherent and capable of maintaining an understandable conversation with my better half. I usually end up losing the battle and fall asleep on his lap on the couch way before then or he talks me into going to bed to watch TV and I make a quarter of the TV show and I am out like a light. Thank goodness Michael records the shows for me to watch later when I am not in a comatose state. Other than becoming a living zombie, I am handling the first 3 months of pregnancy like a champ.

I bought the book, "What to expect when your expecting" and to tell you the truth, I've set it down already because it frankly scares the living shit out of me!! Basically, in a nut shell, all that book as told me so far is that I am not going to shit for weeks on end, I am going to cry at the drop of a hat, I am going to get crazy fat along with stretch marks to boot, if I eat anything that isn't in the specified pregnancy diet that I am a horrible mother for poisoning my fetus, and that there is a possibility that my nose may get gigantic. And even with all the books negativity it somehow attempts to place a positive spin on everything. "Don't worry that one day you'll be sitting down to take a pee and you notice that your pretty little hoo-hoo is the size of a Macys Thanksgiving Day float, that's just blood flowing to your vaginal region preparing you for labor" My hoo-hoo is going to blow up like a balloon??? I can tell you what the day that happens I am not really sure what the hell I am going to do but I sure as hell am not going to look at it positively that's for damn sure! Ok.. so MAYBE I am being a little dramatic here, but that's really all I've gathered from my readings. So I set the book on my nightstand and I am waiting for the evening I get brave again and pick it up to read about the other horrors I am going to be facing during this "joyous" time in my life.

I am starting to get a little emotional, which I am sure Michael is just going to love. Michael isn't one of those men who takes a look at a crying woman and stops everything until everything is ok... trust me... I've tried to cry to get my way with him and it hasn't worked once! My crying is powerless against his strong forces, this could also be because he's 42 years old and is the only man in an office of about 30 or so women so he's seen quite a bit of crying in his days and doesn't budge one inch for a few tears. Anyways, I started to notice this random emotionalism last week. I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed home from work and decided to rent Sex and The City on Pay-Per-View since I hadn't seen it. At the part at the end where Big re-proposes to Carrie in the closet, I found myself choking up. Now, I wasn't a die hard Sex and the City fiend or anything who never missed one episode and had been secretly praying for Carrie Bradshaw and Big to live happily ever after and this was my emotional release that they could finally get their happy ending... No... I had seen episodes here and there over the years that I found pleasantly entertaining, but I wasn't a fanatic or anything, I didn't live and breath the show and it's characters. So why was I choking up at two fictitious beings standing in an amazing closet in New York City pledging their eternal commitment to one another??? Noooooo.... it couldn't be because I am growing a human being inside of me!! That ridiculous! So I brushed it off as not feeling well and being overtired and left it at that. So a few days later Michael and I are watching one of our favorite shows, Still Standing. It's this great sitcom that was cancelled a few years back but it's getting its second chance at its glory days by having it's reruns played daily on Lifetime, it's really funny and Michael and I quite enjoy it, you should watch it sometime if you have the chance. Anyways, in this particular episode the oldest son Brian is going to be going off the college, so the parents aren't upset at all about him leaving, so they decide they are going to change his bedroom into a Master Suite for themselves. So at the end of the show when Brian leaves for college and they start moving stuff in his bedroom so they can make their Master Suite, they move a dresser and behind the dresser is a little drawing Brian had made when he was a kid and it was of a little stick figure family looking all happy at their house and then it finally hit his parents that he was all grown up and moving away from home. Oh My God.. you would have thought somebody told me that they ran over my cat... I started bawling.... and I don't know why. It's not like I am a parent who has a teen kid who's close to moving away or anything.... hell... I am still growing my kid as we speak so I shouldn't be crying over something like this.... well... I was. I was crying over a cheesy Lifetime sitcom like a friggin baby. Needless to say, I then realized that I am definitely experiencing the unnecessary over emotionalism that comes with pregnancy at this point.

I've also come to realize that after almost 26 years of life, I am incapable of peeing in a cup. During the past month of so, I've had to pee in a cup a few times during Doctors appointments and not one of these times have I been able to accomplish this without peeing on my hand or all over the toilet seat or worse, not putting the lid on the cup tight enough and having it spill in the bio-hazard bag. Seriously, you should have seen the look on the nurses face when I handed her my bag filled of urine. I am sure she was probably cursing me all the way to the lab.. or better yet, the lab technician who got stuck with my bag of pee was probably cursing me even more. Hmmm I'd say maybe I should practice in between appointments but that's just downright strange... I am hoping in the next 6 months I'll manage to make it in the cup with little to no difficulties... but we'll see... I wouldn't place any bets on it.